Whenever I think of weightloss, the first word that comes to mind is- failure. So far I've stuck to it one day, ate something I shouldn't have the following and then stuck to it the next.. then the cycle continues.. I don't feel any thinner, I feel tired.. annoyed with myself. I NEED to do this and really want to, yet can't. I'm not sure why I keep slipping up.. I just can't seem to resist anything! My head was in such a good place last week, now I just feel like 'oh well, I'm not a whale.. I've only got a few stone to lose so there's no rush'..
Actually there is. I need to be slim by July. I can't go on holiday feeling like the 'chubby friend'.. I'm not one of those people who can carry chub well.. Some girls slap on a bit of fake tan and look amazing despite a few wobbly bits, but me .. NO. I look horrible, any weight I put on really shows.. I'm wobbly, not toned and pale.. It's not a good look. I cannot possibly go on holiday in this state. Plus I wanted to be a stone lighter by the time I go on a short break with my boyfriend in April.. That isn't going to happen now.. It's just sabotage after sabotage.. :/ I need to be looked away for a year with only shakes and no food.. Seriously. Wherever's there is food I seem to eat.. I'm rarely even hungry but food is such a big part of my life that I feel so hard done by without it. How sad is that. I admitt it though, I'm under no pretense that food completely dominates my life. I need to break the cycle..
I need to lose this weight..
The only thing I can do is be honest with my consultant and keep taking her advice.
I will get there, by July.. no matter what it takes.
x
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